Archive for September, 2011

Funny Quote of the Day

I got a fancy schmany new iPhone 2 days ago and I have yet to really get to play with it. I downloaded a couple games to entertain the Child. She’s just too smart for her own good.

While sitting on my lap, playing one of said games she says “my feet feel fuzzy.”


It took me a second to realize she was telling me her feet fell asleep from being crossed under her. How cute.


Funny Quote of the Day

“When I hear this song, my butt gets the rhythm and just has to dance!”

Yes Honey, Your Mom is Crazy!

When school started, the Child wanted to ride the bus to school, but her crazy mother couldn’t do it. What if there’s a bully on the bus? What if you get off at the wrong school? What if some crazy psycho sees how cute you are waiting at the bus stop, follows the bus to school, and snatches you right off the sidewalk?

Hi. I’m the crazy, overprotective, paranoid mother that lives in your neighborhood! I had all kinds of awful thoughts about letting my 5 year old ride the bus to school. I mean, it’s SUCH a long ride from the pickup to the school (did I mention I can walk to the school?) Anything could happen between here and there. I just couldn’t do it.

So since school started, I’ve been driving her to school. The 1st day I walked her all the way to the classroom. The next day, I was relegated to the lobby because you can’t have crazy, psycho parents wandering all over the school. Each day, I’ve been letting her go a little bit further without me – I stopped at the door the last time. I even asked her if she wanted me to let her off at the curb and go all the way in without me. She said she needed me to walk to the lobby with her. So I continued to do that.

Then just a few days ago, we were a minute or two later in leaving than normal and we saw all the other kids getting on the bus. She waved to the bus as it drove by. Then she asked me if she could ride the bus to school the next day. After a short pause, I told her if she wanted to, she could try it out the next day to see how she liked it.

So the next day, she stood at the bus stop like a big girl while mom died a little bit on the inside. The bus came and she got on, sat roughly in the middle and off she went.

So while I might be the crazy psycho mother in your neighborhood, I try really hard to rein it in and be a normal mom. I’m working on it.

She loves the bus. I don’t love the bus, but I’ll get over it. Eventually.

The Case of the 1$ Fish

Saturday was the Autumn Festival in Robinson. It was really a lovely time. The weather was wonderful and I got to spend the day with the Child. It began at 12, and we arrived at 12:30ish. We had to park way back in the middle of nowhere and thank goodness there was a “shuttle” because the thought of trudging up that hill? No thank you. The “shuttle” was a golf cart, so it was taking 4-5 people at a time, but luckily we were at the front of the line.

They dropped us off in the middle of vendor heaven. I got the Child a ride all day pass for $10. I originally told the Child that she had to follow me around for at least 10 minutes while I hit the vendors I wanted to see early (Hi Macaroni Kid!), and then she should ride to her little hearts content.

She did a good job til she saw the panning for gold vendor. And the stuff a bear vendor. And the pick-a-duck-win-a-prize vendor. And the beach ball tic tac toe vendor. And the free crafts for kids vendor. And the bubble machine vendor. And the ice cream guy. And the ballon animal man. And the corn dog stand. And the slushie vendor, which also turned out to be the toss a ping pong ball into the jar and win a goldfish vendor.

It cost $1 for 10 ping pong balls. I know from experience that the game is hard, so I gave her a 1$. She got 10 ping pong balls. She tossed one right into the jar. And got a fish. Which I then had to carry around for the next 8 hours while she bounced in the bouncy house, climbed the ladder to slide down the bouncy dinosaur, made her way through the bouncy maze, slid down a sinking but bouncy titanic, bounced through an obstacle course and another version of a bouncy slide. We tried to wait in line for the giant hamster balls, but the Child got antsy so she rode the train instead.

The fish and I became great friends. We ate lunch together and spent lots of quality time. I named him Mr. Bubbles but was then promptly informed that his name was Sally. So we compromised and his name is now Mr. Sally Bubbles. Sally Bubbles made it home safely and now lives with the other 5 (FIVE!) fish in the tank

Let’s Build a Volcano!

Today was the end of the 2nd week of Kindergarten. I think we’ve managed to get our morning routine down pretty well – but it doesn’t really matter to me because I have to work 10 hour days so the Man is in charge of school prep.

Our neighbors just got back from the Beach a few days ago. They have a little girl that is the Child’s ¬†BFFFAA (for those of you uncool folks – that’s Best Friend Forever and Always) and the Child has been just beside herself that she hasn’t been able to play with Neighbor Girl for 10 days. The Child’s 2nd calling is a stalker, so the Child has been running up and down the stairs at least 2x/hour to “check” and see if Neighbor Girl has come outside.

By now I’m very much oblivious to the stalking, having lost count of the trips upstairs. Except, I happened to notice I was watching Max & Ruby – alone. Where could the Child have gone? It’s much too quiet. But instead of going to actually see what she was doing, I continued the ignoring. I’m pretty good at it. Until she comes back downstairs with that look on her face.

What did you do?
Nothing… she proceeds to lick her lips and teeth. I look at her mouth and notice there’s a white powder around her mouth

What did you do??
You’re fibbing!! What did you eat??
Don’t lie to your mother. What did you do?

She shows me her hands, and they have that same white powder. Now thinking I should track down the number for poison control…

Tell me right now what you  ate!

I tried to make a volcano with the powder in the bathroom….she says with a smile

So I march upstairs and come face to face with little puddles of baking powder. There’s some in the living room. There’s a trail in the hallway. There’s a few puddles in the bathroom. There’s another trail from the bathroom to the bedroom and some puddles in the bedroom. She brings me to the window and shows me the piles of wet baking soda in the windowsill. She was trying to make a volcano in the windowsill.

Must have been a tasty volcano.